It has a great deal to do with my faith, and somewhat forgetting myself.
Spencer W. Kimball once said: 'My life is like my shoes, to be worn out in service,'
The British government recently began a study into what makes people happy, 'a Happiness Index to gauge Britain's national mood'...it turns out the answer is compassionate acts of service. Their think tank decided that doing random acts of kindness makes you feel better...
Is that a surprise? Not really, my church, and many others, have been expounding this for years.
Happiness is many things, but making others happy is right up there with winning the lottery for me, higher actually because I don't do the lottery. We all feel happier when those around us are content.
The other answer for me is forgiveness.
We've all been hurt before...but I have finally managed to put my previous pain behind me. A couple of years ago I read: 'You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.' At that point, I couldn't do it, there were still people who made me feel bad in the pit of my stomach. Not wanting to feel that way anymore I made a concerted effort to put all hurt behind me. Not easy, by any means, I'm not talking about mild hurt here, we're serious with this one...but I decided not to let anyone else have any control over my emotions.
It took a great deal of soul searching and time on my knees (and anti-depressants) but I have now released my demons...I've let them go...and I am so much better for it.
Yesterday we spent the day at the Temple and recently Vince and I have begun attending the Temple regularly...and I have finally reached the place I wanted to be...at peace...
The Temple gave me what I was looking for... We walked through the grounds, surrounded by beautiful rhododendrons, and I was at one with myself for the first time in a very long time.
I am happy, really happy, and I want to stay that way!
'All of the most beautiful influences are quiet,
only the destructive agencies -
the stormy winds, the heavy rains, are noisy.
Love of the deepest sort is wordless,
the sunshine steals down silently,
the dew falls noiselessly
and the communication of spirit with spirit
is calmer than anything else in the world'