Friday, 1 June 2012

Faerytaleish: Waiting...

Just couldn't help myself...my second entry to #Faerypin: (300 words)

Waiting...

He’d promised to return. He’d left his gun and blade and she’d waited.
Tears slipped down her cheeks, tears of salt and ocean sparkles.
He’d not returned.
She touched her face, tracing the briny trail to her lips with the cold steel of his firearm, and allowed her head to swim in the misery of defeat.
She’d waited a week, two then three…
The gun, heavy in her tightly clenched fist, weighed as much as her heart and a useless sigh escaped disappearing on the wisp of a zephyr.
Three months, three years…or was it more?
She wandered, placing one foot exactly in the recently vacated imprint of her foot on the soft sand and the other in its neighbour. She walked the beach from one end to the other and back again.
When she gave up her water-born inheritance and lost her tail, he said he’d return.
And she still waited, staring across the bay from one rocky outcrop to its twin on the opposite end.
Just one last quest and he’d be back; one more adventure and he’d be hers.
His sword brushed her skirts as it hung at her side, tangled with corded dead man’s bootlaces, and streamers of broad leaf weed slapped her legs as she paced and the ocean snatched at her toes.
Oh how she’d loved toes, squidging them in the sand, and legs, twining hers with his…but now they walked day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, but still he was gone.
But this day, today, the sea urged her on and withdrew further, and her walk took her around the headland usually buried in the deep.
The ship…barely a ship, his ship…lay in the cove, lost and abandoned and she knew he could never return. And she returned…to the sea.



10 comments:

  1. Oh, what a poignant piece! Waiting feels like one of the hardest things to do and the way you've described it is so touching! Really beautiful, Lisa.

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  2. Waugh. I love how subtle you are with the ending. Lovely 2nd entry, thank you.

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  3. What amazing imagery...you have such a way with words. Loved it!

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  4. Oh so sad and yes, so subtle. At least she has the sea... a real sense of losing and being lost.

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  5. Oh bittersweet regret and the waiting. This is so beautifully written. I love the voice.. oh and the toes! And yes a subtle ending to be sure. Loved it.

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  6. The simpicity of this piece works so well! It adds such depth to her loss and yearning. Awesome job!!!

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  7. a very good story. Poignant, but without the usual devices. Every aspect add to the image you draw. Well done!

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  8. Thank you all for your comments. Her slightly lowered head in the picture spoke sadness to me...I didn't want her story to be obvious, more melancholy with a tragic twist. Thanks again for reading and commenting!

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  9. Really different take, nice imagery and emotion, liked the idea of her ocean ancestry

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  10. Good grief Lisa, How did I not leave a comment on this entry a month ago?! Beautifully written, and I think very aligned with the notion of how we change to be with someone we love but then our own expectations are not met. The imagery is very well done and certainly added to the moving quality of the story. Well done you!

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