Saturday, 30 June 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Harvest

Photograph by Lisa Shambrook (Please do not use without permission)
His ring gently clinked, an almost unnoticeable sound against the rich, heavy beat of music, as he rotated the glass and studied the incoming crop of sniggering girls, all short skirts and boozy noise and his lip rose in a lazy sneer as he shook his head about to turn away from the brash invasion, but the last girl squeezing apologetically through the door caught his eye.
She quickly followed the gaggle of limbs and peroxide almost as if she was an afterthought, and she carefully pulled up a chair, sitting slightly to one side unconsciously stretching her skirt down over her knees and staring intently at her cultivated nails.
He watched the drinks arrive and the girls gather to leer at the waiter, pinching his seasoned rump and disregarding his tired protest, but from his vantage point at the bar he noted her discomfort and allowed a smile.
He ignored the flirtations and plumped-up pouts, thrusting cleavage bursting out of bra-tops and bare thighs advertising their wares, these offerings were not for his harvest.
Her lips were full and unpainted, hair the natural shade of corn, her eyes bright and sober, and her breast firm and ripe beneath her shirt where only a tiny tease of pink lace revealed itself, blooming like a lost flower against her flesh and he knew...he knew she was the one.

14 comments:

  1. Loved this, Lisa. Don't think I've read a predator story from you but the description of the pack of girls was wonderful wrought. A wonderful harvest of words from you. Thank you for sharing.

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  2. I love and gaggle of limbs and peroxide... great write.

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  3. Well Lisa, this is a surprise! A delightful surprise! The subject, the words, the cadence, all different offerings from you. I really enjoyed it. A completely unique take on the word. I always enjoy your writing!

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  4. Thanks, I liked the gaggle of limbs and peroxide line too!
    Stacy, predator's a great word for the piece, in several ways...from the girls to the protagonist, I'm interested to see if people found the protagonist sinister or genuine?
    Glad you enjoyed it Jo-Anne, these prompts are so great to take new directions with!

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  5. Very detailed story. The scene you created was definitely alive in my head.

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  6. Indeed, how to separate the chaff from the grain, other than by looks? A lovely post, and who is the mysterious onlooker? Arousal of curiosity :-)

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  7. Oh how accurately you captured the 'girls' night out' atmosphere. And the contrast between the object of his attentions and her cohorts was finely drawn. Nice work.

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  8. Vivid! You used wonderful descriptors to make the scene come alive. In my mind's eye, I could see every minute detail...
    A great job!

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  9. What an interesting twist on the prompt! I loved it! The details were vivid and full of charm. Made me question this character and his motives. Hmmm. Wonderful job!

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  10. I'm glad the scene came alive for you RJ and Michelle!
    Honoré I love the chaff and grain interpretation too...wish I'd thought of it myself!
    Glad the contrast worked Sandra, hopefully it made people question his motives, like Stephanie said!

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  11. This is a delightful, visual, sensual read. Very nicely done, Lisa




    http://www.thejadedlens.com

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  12. Oooo. Lisa this piece is a wonderful juxtaposition of sensual and sexy - a contrast I wish our world noted just a bit more.

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  13. Thanks J.A., Britton and Rakel' I like that it came across as sensual, I wanted to get the contrast right!

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