Monday, 4 June 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Orange


I’ve been here twenty minutes, sat staring at the screen and very nearly bored to tears, though the boards and dials surrounding the monitor are lit up like a fairground and amuse me as I pretend to know what everything does and means.
I’ve been ordered to “be quiet and don’t touch anything…not anything.” I sigh. I shouldn't be here, but I'm  small enough to sit right out of the way and Pop says it's okay.
It's the orange button that intrigues me, not the red one or the green one, nor the dials and flashing yellow lights on the left hand display, it's the orange one on the right that has my finger hovering.
When I finally press it there is no click, no flash, no beep or warning, nothing, only the pale and horrified stare that my father wears, the one that usually means I’ll get a thrashing…then all hell lets loose…


17 comments:

  1. I love the suspense you have put in the story! Reminds me of how my niece is always wanting to press this button, push that, play with this..etc. Maybe I should tell her this story! Lol!

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    1. How can you resist the temptation? If there's a button I want to push it!

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  2. Yikes! Different kind of story from you yet your same lovely writing voice shines through. I liked how you wove the innocence with the suspense. Well done Lisa!

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    1. Thanks Jo-Anne, it's fun to try something different. I just knew the little one was going to push it...

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  3. Curiosity killed the cat. What hell has he/she unleashed? I love the obsession with the orange button and how the character's resolve finally gives way to temptation.

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    1. I'll leave the hell unleashed to your imagination!

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  4. Awesome! Just awesome! You took the prompt and really played with it, I love where your mind went. What a great piece of flash fiction!

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    1. Thanks Melanie, I loved your zombie piece!

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  5. What did it do! I want to know what the button did! Haha, fantastic piece. I really love this.

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    1. What do you think it did? I love that kids are fascinated by buttons...aren't they...weren't you? lol

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  6. Oh my gosh! Not the orange button. Wait. Is that the big bad button or is it the red one?! Darn it, I can't remember!! Eeeeeek! If I don't get to talk to you again before the big orange death ray gets me, it was nice knowing you and I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Well except the part where I got disintegrated! :)

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    1. Now, now, I've told you before be careful what you touch! I don't want to be held responsible for your disintegration! Thanks Ruth!

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  7. Oh my gosh, I saw something darker...a father not wanting her to press the useless orange button simply because he knew she would, he knew it would do nothing, and he knew he could justify her thrashing!

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    1. ...and that's what I like so much about Flash Fiction! I love how we can all see different things in a tiny piece of writing. Thanks for your interpretation Britton!

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  8. Someone's in real trouble now! I liked the ambivalence of the last line. Good one.

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    1. Thanks Sandra, I liked that line too, glad you enjoyed it!

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  9. Well of course the button would be pushed; who could resist :) Nice job!!!

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