Monday, 17 September 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Awkward

Photograph by Lisa Shambrook (please do not use without permission)

‘Yes, b home 4 lunch soon - surprise me!’ She grinned as she reread his text and gently pulled the stocking up over her knee, smoothing it over her newly epilated legs and finally clipping its lace top to her suspender belt, yes; she was definitely going to surprise him!
Standing in front of the mirror, she tousled her hair and reapplied a generous spritz of scent before giving her ample bosom a boost and smiling seductively at her reflection. 
The doorbell chimed and she checked the candles, slipped her feet into tall heels and sashayed suggestively down the stairs. 
Licking her lips she turned the bolt and opened the door, just a little, just enough to tease, and she delicately kicked her leg and allowed the stiletto to drop in front of the gap then she slowly, to full effect, stroked her stockinged foot up the edge of the door, caressing its cold metal with pointed ballerina toes; her fingers crept round, showing off sparkling blood-red nails and she slowly opened the door wide, until she was pressed back against the wall behind it, “Please, dear Sir, this way for a tantalising lunch…” she purred.
The cough, the polite cough, from the doorstep froze her leg in place halfway up the door, and horror filled her head; blushing furiously, she peeked and recognised her elderly neighbour, “Ahem, I’ll decline, if you don’t mind, but do you have a spare cup of sugar?” 



26 comments:

  1. Oh this is just so funny! The poor woman! Got more than he bargained for. xxx

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    1. He definitely did, much more than a cup of sugar for sure, thanks Lizzie!

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  2. Lisa, this was hilarious! A seduction gone horribly awry! Not quite sure how a person would ever live down that humiliation.

    I really liked some of your phrasing in this piece: "newly epilated legs" (awesome!!) and "before giving her ample bosom a boost" (wonderful alliteration). Very nicely done!

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    1. Ha ha, I liked the newly epilated legs too, shows commitment! I really appreciate your comment Kern.

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  3. I love the step-by-step unfolding of this "art of seduction" process... and then - BAM!
    The poor elderly neighbour... this could have given him a premature heart attack! LOL.

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    1. Wonder what he really thought? Thanks for taking the time to comment!

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  4. I found myself licking my lips as I read, along with the character - am I the only one or am I just weird!

    Your story definitely made me giggle even though I knew it was all going to go horribly wrong and I was cringing!

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    1. You're not weird...it was an interesting story to write, I felt quite bad to put her through that!

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  5. OMG, I'm still blushing for her. Beautifully described seduction scene - I'm surprised her neighbour didn't take her up on it.

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    1. Gosh, that would be a whole new story if he did, wouldn't it? Thanks for commenting Sandra!

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  6. Well done. I have read a wealth of great FSF this morning and this one is definitely one of the shinier gems. I could vividly picture the whole scene and feel the burn of embarrassment when she heard the "polite cough." Bravo!

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    1. Aw, thanks for the praise Andy, it means a lot, there were some amazing FSF's for this prompt...it was difficult coming up with something different!

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  7. How...erm...awkward! I really like this because you share in her excitement and trepidation and embarrassment.

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    1. He he...we got her whole journey from text through to her unexpected guest! I'm glad you like it Kate!

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  8. oh my gosh, that's hilarious! you definitely portrayed this week's prompt perfectly. very awkward! great job!

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    1. Thanks Christina, this one was fun to write!

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  9. Too funny! You created the scene perfectly. Thank you for the laugh :)

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  10. It wold have been even more awkward, had he accepted her invitation.

    Cheers!
    JzB

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  11. LOL!! How did I miss this one from last week? This is fab. Love it

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