Wednesday, 31 October 2012

55 Words #33: The Graveyard Train

The train’s cold, hard, easy-to-clean stainless steel fittings were a godsend. My stop approached and I clutched my bulging bag on clenched knees. The bag jerked, I held it close; beating hearts were such a pain, but I needed at least one for the wife…who waited patiently beneath the swirling fog of headstone seventy three.

(55 Words)

Written for the 55 Word Challenge. Choose a picture (or two if you want to overachieve!) and write a story using no more than 55 words.


  1. Wow! You said so much in so few words! I love the imagery of him clutching his bag. Great story!

  2. I like this piece very much. Gives a great sense of the dramatic in a small span. Nicely done :)

  3. Oh, I love this. It drew me right in and surprised me. I wouldn't change a word!

  4. That picture looks disturbingly like me riding the DC Metro in the morning. Or that strange fellow that sits in the other aisle...

    Good story!

  5. Thank you for your lovely comments! I got an Overachiever award (for using two of the three photo prompts) for this week's 55 Words!
    ...and KR, I'm hoping you don't carry beating hearts in a bag on the Metro...or if you

    1. Certainly not! It would be far too difficult if I had carry them while running to catch the brains, uh, I mean, trains...