Wednesday, 31 October 2012

55 Words #33: The Graveyard Train


The train’s cold, hard, easy-to-clean stainless steel fittings were a godsend. My stop approached and I clutched my bulging bag on clenched knees. The bag jerked, I held it close; beating hearts were such a pain, but I needed at least one for the wife…who waited patiently beneath the swirling fog of headstone seventy three.

(55 Words)

Written for the 55 Word Challenge. Choose a picture (or two if you want to overachieve!) and write a story using no more than 55 words.

6 comments:

  1. Wow! You said so much in so few words! I love the imagery of him clutching his bag. Great story!

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  2. I like this piece very much. Gives a great sense of the dramatic in a small span. Nicely done :)

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  3. Oh, I love this. It drew me right in and surprised me. I wouldn't change a word!

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  4. That picture looks disturbingly like me riding the DC Metro in the morning. Or that strange fellow that sits in the other aisle...

    Good story!

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  5. Thank you for your lovely comments! I got an Overachiever award (for using two of the three photo prompts) for this week's 55 Words!
    ...and KR, I'm hoping you don't carry beating hearts in a bag on the Metro...or if you do...um...

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    1. Certainly not! It would be far too difficult if I had carry them while running to catch the brains, uh, I mean, trains...

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