Thursday, 4 October 2012

Behind the Curtain: Laid Bare


Laid Bare

When they took her leading man they made a hollow of her heart, and left her soul an empty cavern. 
She danced, every night, as if her lover would return, as if he would appear from the wings and take her in his arms; she danced for him and for him only. 
Gauzy skirts caressed her legs as she traversed the stage, snowflakes shimmered on pale skin, and diamond-adorned tresses flowed down her spine as she teased the very air that tried to embrace her. 
Elegance and grace filled every step, and every gesture, and those who beheld her were enthralled, bewitched by the woman pirouetting and leaping across the stage. She seduced indifferently, smouldering beneath the spotlight’s halo, and the sparkling gems in her hair emulated tears that would never fall.
Music drove deep into her solitude, empowering her body to twist and turn, and rise and fall. Every plié drew sighs, pirouettes provoked awe and her arabesque inspired yearning, as the audience fell in love.
She danced in the wash of the moonlight on stage, the beam chasing her like an infatuated paramour as she stretched and rose to the orchestra’s crescendo. The theatre was rapt as the music surged and climaxed, and then she was on the floor, arms stretched over her head protecting her from the huge explosion of applause. She would rise, and pause like a doe caught in a stray shaft of light, her eyes opening wide to stare into the blackness, at the ocean of faces now standing in ovation. 
Every night her hand would move to shade her eyes and she would gaze out over the footlights, across the pit and stalls, she would scan the circle, the balcony and up into the gods, but every night was in vain. 
As the audience gave her their approval, her empty soul cried empty tears and when she was sure he wasn’t there she whirled and tiptoed off stage.
She stole hearts but nothing filled the void, and those purloined hearts, so freely given, were lost forever, adrift within the walls of her icy core. 

(351 Words)

32 comments:

  1. So much pain, wonderfully written. :)

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  2. You do loss so very well, that was excellent Lisa. Very moving

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  3. Oh so beautiful, lilting and ethereal. Just lovely. Bravo!!!

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  4. Lisa - I love your descriptions. You are such a fantastic writer. Kudos. :)

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  5. "as the audience fell in love"
    That is just the way it is. Lovely.

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  6. amazing, language as graceful as the inspiring imagery entailed, I saw this photo and loved it and am glad someone wrote about it :)

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  7. Wow...just...wow. The depth of emotion in this is mind-boggling. It has such a wonderful flow to it as if we were dancing along with the character. Thanks for sharing such a deep and evocative piece.

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  8. I agree... Wow!
    Lisa, this was so beautifully written. Absolutely gorgeous. I love the emotion you poured into this and the way you described her dance...makes the character and her performance so real to the reader.

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  9. Raw, poetic perfection and so wonderful imagery. This sort of thing: "She would rise, and pause like a doe caught in a stray shaft of light, her eyes opening wide to stare into the blackness" - just painted an instant image in my mind. It's beautifully crafted, so lyrical.

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  10. Poetic and emotional - great story.

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  11. This is so beautiful. The piece is haunting and ethereal. Your writing is poetic and dream-like. I love your flash fiction, Lisa! :)

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  12. Absolutely seductive writing - you captivate the reader so well in your description of her sensuous dance. Your parting lines remind me of the Snow Queen - beautiful and frigid, stealing love and giving nothing in return. Well done!

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  13. Very ethereal imagery, beautiful to read!

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  14. I was worried I had too many dance images on the board, yet you took this one and created something marvelous. Thanks for entering!

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  15. Wow! That's some beautiful and emotional writing there - excellent

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  16. Evocative beautiful writing. I don't like the ballet but this piece makes me want to go!

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  17. Beautiful, dreamlike. Wonderful!

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  18. Yes - ethereal, flowing, beautiful imagery. Everybody beat me to it. And the pain of love lost. Poignant.

    Excellent word choices and phrasing.

    Nicely done.

    JzB

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  19. So many beautiful images in this story Lisa, my personal favourite "the sparkling gems in her hair emulated tears that would never fall".
    Haunting, longing, yearning for that happy ending - a great scene from behind the curtain!

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  20. I haven't actually wanted to comment, because I'm quite in awe of the comments you've all posted. I appreciate your feedback so much, and I'm so happy this piece has worked so well. Thank you everyone! ♥

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  21. Such a lovely, lyrical quality to this piece--really enjoyed it!

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  22. Ohhhh...I could feel the gauze wrapping around my own legs as I read this. So powerful! Excellent writing and beautiful imagery!

    Jessica
    Visions of Other Worlds

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  23. This is a truly beautiful piece. There's such evocative language and details and despite its loveliness the sadness is just as poignant, if not more. A joy to read.

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  24. Beautiful and vivid. I can feel the emotion in her dancing. Wonderful story!

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  25. This was so SO elegant. Beautiful work <3

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  26. Wooowwwww. I think this my favorite thing I've ever read by you!! This is so gorgeous. the pain in her dancing is heartbreakingly beautiful.

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  27. Lisa! I thought I had left a comment already. I'm sorry.

    Your writing in this lovely story matches the subject matter perfectly. Your words lift and move and flutter. Beautifully done, Lisa. :))

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  28. I love your imagery & the way you choose your verbs! Beautifully done.

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  29. Thank you again for all the comments, they are soooo much appreciated!

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  30. I absolutely love how your writing flows like the dance itself. Stunning writing!!!

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  31. Wow. Your writing is magical. Such beautiful poetry, I felt it wash over my soul.

    Thank you, so much.

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