Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Detour

Photo by Bekah Shambrook Texture by Lisa Shambrook (Please do not use without permission)

City lights twinkled like jewels on her tiara, just as her eyes did as she stared at the sights, and the car sped on through the streets.
Weeks and days, and hundreds of miles and finally all her Cinderella dreams were to come true…she clasped her hands tightly in her lap, embracing her mobile phone and his treasured text messages.
But London’s streets became crowded and the lights lost their lustre as time was swallowed within the city’s black hole.
Later and later, her fingers ached from small-screen typing and her message tone echoed her frustration, and finally he called; his image, as suave as she’d remembered, pixelated and jumped but his grin leaped out and her heart danced as he promised to wait.
Her smile widened as he blew a kiss goodbye and his hand flicked across the screen, but the call was not done and though he thought he was free, her smile slipped as the accusatory screen, discarded on the bar, showed his arm squeezing a buxom blonde’s waist and the kiss he planted on her cheek was drowned by Cinderella’s tear.


11 comments:

  1. Oh dear, that's technology for you. Always there when you don't want it. Nicely done, and an orginal take on the prompt.

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  2. Mean boys. Just being mean. Classy as always Lisa.

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  3. Dang. What a jerk. Nicely told.

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  4. This was so sad ... Poor Cinderella :-(

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  5. Ah the joys of technology, or is that more ghost in the machine? Well Done!

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  6. Poor Cinderella, but better to find out now than later...

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  7. Drowned by Cinderella's tear... Love the last line!

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  8. Ah... So sad. My heart breaks for her. I think I know that guy.

    Lovely work, Lisa.

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  9. Thanks everyone, he is a cad isn't he? Wouldn't want to meet him myself!

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  10. Ouch, the bastard! Nice twist there. So many of the FSF's I've read I wish would continue, this being one of them, where your 'Cinderella' gets her own back. :)

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  11. Agree with Christina, that last line is fantastic, such a great image. Shame her tears can't really drown the pair of them, with a little bit of fairydust maybe that would be a fitting revenge!

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