Monday, 29 October 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Potions

Photograph by Lisa Shambrook (Please do not use without permission)

The bottle lay, unharmed, beside her on the pavement, its thick glass mocking her, and emerald viscous liquid seeping from its mouth mixing its heady perfume with the sickly sweet fragrance of her own blood.
Its promises spun crystalline webs in her mind even now as she lay, unmoving, on the concrete.
Nothing but snowy white noise filtered through the smog in her brain and she smiled as people began hurrying towards her.
She was still queen of the world, dark faery of the night, raven of midnight black…and her wings still flew in diaphanous shapes as she ignored her ebony hair stuck to her face in sanguine strands.
She couldn’t see her companions’ horrified eyes, or hear their distressed voices as they stared from the scaffolding in disbelief; she couldn’t see her shattered and broken body on the pavement and she was yet to realise that no potion in the world would fix this mess.


12 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Just what I was going for...thanks Amanda!

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  2. Just one question: Did you mean viscous (like a thick, sticky liquid) instead of viscose (an orange chemical)? If you did, just make the change, delete this comment, and no one will ever know! This is one of those things spell checker won't catch because it's spelled correctly.

    Other than that, interesting story!

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    1. Oooh thanks for catching that, hadn't noticed the difference! Too much writing this month, glad you liked the story!

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  3. a dark unfocused scene full of twisting imagery, nice :)

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    1. Thanks, having fallen so far she should be unfocused shouldn't she? Glad you liked it!

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  4. Haunting - if this was a book blurb, I'd buy the book!

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    1. Ha ha, I'll bear that in mind for next NaNo...not this one though!

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  5. I agree with the other posters - haunting and sad. Very nice.

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  6. Yeah. Did she take off thinking she could fly?

    No - don't answer. the enigma is better.

    Very haunting.

    JzB

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    1. I won't answer, hopefully the imagery works! Thanks Jazz!

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