Sunday, 18 November 2012

Five Sentence Fiction: Business

Photograph by Bekah Shambrook (Please do not use without permission)

She wandered through town, slinking between mothers and pushchairs, corporate men and women, and shoppers, all in a hurry to be finished in town before the mid-morning regulars appeared. Everybody minded their own business and Meg was nothing extraordinary, as usual she was invisible and that was just how she wanted it. 
She flew from one shop to another, darting from one doorway to the next until she was clear of the town centre, unhindered by people and out on her own. Ghosts travelled amongst the living unseen, living out their haunted nightmares and Meg was no different to a phantom lost amid the sentient.  In response her heart beat rapidly and as she slowed down again she was aware of the sound of her blood surging and pumping through her veins, she was alive, even though she barely felt it.

Written for Lillie McFerrin's Five Sentence Fiction - Business. I am still pretty locked in to NaNoWriMo, so stuck with another five sentence excerpt.

8 comments:

  1. You've done it again, so good. Loved the way you compared her to a ghost - 'phantom lost amid the sentient.'

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    1. Thanks Laura, she has an urge to escape...and thinks no one will notice...
      Thanks for your comments and Twitter RT's!

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  2. My goodness, Lisa. This is really powerful. I thought she must be an apparition and then you twist it and we find she's only an apparition to herself. Well done!

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    1. It worked really well as a stand alone five sentences, but fits so well into the rest of the chapter. The chapter is about how invisible she feels, will anyone see her?
      Thanks for your encouragement!

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  3. Ahhh, sneaky - initially you threw me a curve. Nicely done, you trickster ;) Good pace and flows very well. Enjoyed it :)

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  4. Feeling invisible, hoping to be, so much so that one at first had the perception that she was. I can understand this feeling of slipping away unnoticed and unhindered... very well done, Lisa!

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    1. Thanks Josie, I've been there too, it's a hard place to be!

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