Monday, 24 December 2012

Visual Dare #34:Kiss and Five Sentence Fiction: Vision

Anonymous Legacy's Visual Dare #34: Kiss and
Lillie McFerrin's Five Sentence Fiction: Vision

The room was clinical and sparse, but comfortable despite its mint green walls and overly starched bed linen. Dad stood by the window, his hands in his pockets, staring out with his lost puppy-dog expression and Meg knew he wasn’t checking the tears that slipped down his face.
She bit her lip and gazed at her heavily medicated mum.
Meg leaned across the bed and rested her cheek against her mother’s soft face. Her kiss elicited no response and Meg closed her eyes picturing, just for once, that she had a normal mum, and she bit back her conflicting resentment.

(100 Words)
(Five Sentences)


  1. Ooooo NICE. Not a warm fuzzy story, for certain; but an eloquent symbolic twist on the prompt. Makes me wonder what Meg's mum has succumbed to...or if there's something more sinister than illness at work here (though illness of any sort that would make a mother unresponsive to her daughter would be horrible enough).

    Lovely work. Thank you for another great Visual Dare!

  2. So many of us end up in that condition.
    Real human tragedy
    Sensitively expressed.


  3. I've been a visitor in too many hospital rooms over the past three or four years. Brilliantly captured. That tangle of conflicting emotions is spot on too. Thanks for sharing!

  4. Do I spot some NaNo WIP in there as well as the 5SF and Visual Dare? Oh you clever clever girl!

    1. Yes, Sarah, you do! It's still running around in my head...ready to seduce me back in January!

    2. haven't had much time to look at mine either or any writing really, but have just written 50 icy words for BekahCat! Popped over here to find the link! x