Monday, 21 January 2013

Monday Mixer: Like Magwitch

This is for The Latinum Vault's Monday Mixer. Write a piece in exactly 150 words using at least three of the prompt words. I chose to try and use all nine words!

Photo by Lisa Shambrook (Please do not use without permission)

He stared across the desolate fenland, a barren expanse stretching from the mortuary to the distant shrouded hills. Like Magwitch, Henry’s lip sneered at his sodden feet, he should’ve thieved the sedulous attendant’s overshoes as well as his mackintosh, egalitarian, he was not. The cottage emerged from behind the damp, coiling mists, an oasis in his fraught mind, and he wiped his forehead with a crimson bandana discovered in the stolen coat’s pocket. Rain teemed endlessly and he sought protection from the unsavoury elements.
His foot kicked the cloche as he raced across the garden and cursed as glass shattered across the path, so much for a quiet entrance. He burst through the unlocked door.
She stood wide-eyed and open mouthed at the dripping man before her.
“Had a really bad day at work sweetie!” he began suddenly loquacious after the silence of the moor, “Car broke down…then it rained…”


(150 Words)


7 comments:

  1. Well done for getting all 9 words into your story.

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  2. Well, aren't you ambitious, going for all nine words! Nicely done! Ah, sedulous: there's a word you don't see used too often.

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  3. All nine words AND a coherent and enjoyable story!! Wohoooooo!!! ;)

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  4. All nine words, well done you and to echo Ruth a really enjoyable story :)

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  5. Thanks all. Really enjoying this challenge, and sedulous..really like that word!

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  6. Using all 9 in a story that holds together - nice misdirection leading to the twist - is just showing off! Good stuff :-)

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