Friday, 5 April 2013

Five Sentence Fiction: Words

Photograph by Lisa Shambrook (Please do not use without permission)

The sudden explosion lit up the dusk and its thunder robbed him of his hearing as he was hurled across the dusty, gritty road; shock and shrapnel embedded its shards beneath his bloodied skin, but nothing stopped him crawling back across the detritus to circle the remains of the best friend he ever had. Confusion tore at his heart, but despite the ringing noise and acrid smoke he refused to leave, and settled mournfully in the middle of the rutted road to wait.
Black night loomed with shouts and gunshots, then chaos and blasts, and he flattened his ears and his body, and trembled by his master’s corpse. 
Dawn sneaked across the hills and he shivered in the morning cold, until soldiers, bloodied and weary, marched back along the road, and he growled, his hackles raised and ears sharp. He flinched as they approached and their brusque commands failed to touch him; it took a burly trooper’s bristly embrace and soft, whispered words to allow the dog to leave, but never forget.

go and read all the other stories...

15 comments:

  1. Awwww... *sniffles* I'm not even a dog person and this totes got me right here *points at heart*.

    Beautiful, my friend. Just. BEAUTIFUL.
    *hugs*

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  2. That was great. I really have to get back into FSF. Starting to miss it now!

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  3. This is so loyal, heartbreaking and compassionate all in one with such vivid imagery. Animals and war do not mix but I know they have a vital role. xx

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  4. My wife and I have 6 dogs, two of which are black labs that participated in field trials when they were younger. Their trainer is now training dogs for the military, mostly to find explosives and other materials. This reminded me of all that and some of the similar stories I've heard. Nice job!

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    1. Like Lizzie said animals and war don't mix, and I struggled putting the two together, but the roles some of them play are so important!

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  5. Oh Lisa, you go right into the depths of the heart with this one. Beautifully done. How wonderful to connect the theme 'Words' with a loyal canine.

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    1. I've only got to look at my pup, (though she's almost five now) and the loyalty is something I'd never experienced until I had her...

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  6. Very moving and wonderfully written.

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  7. Unconditional love seeps out of your story. Images so vivid. Well done!

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  8. I'm in tears. Such powerful imagery. We ask so much of these wonderful animals and they never fail us. I need to go hug my dog now. Wonderful, Lisa.

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  9. What an interesting take on the prompt and what a beautiful way to show the horrors and cost of war. Riviting.

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  10. I didn't know where you were going with this when I started reading. I love the way you built up the tension and diffused it with those whispered words.

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  11. Lisa,

    Forgive me for not being around of late, but I took a break from blogging and stopped doing the FSS. This is an enticing piece of writing that draws the reader in deftly and moves through intensity and emotion with skill.

    You should feel very proud. Very well done :)

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  12. I've been away for a week, so it's lovely to come home to some lovely comments, thank you all for taking time to comment! x

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